


What Once Was

by CaffeineAddict94



Category: Star vs. The Forces Of Evil
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Drama, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Reflection, Self-Reflection
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2017-06-12
Packaged: 2018-09-27 12:51:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10021484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaffeineAddict94/pseuds/CaffeineAddict94
Summary: Star reflects on the events leading up to her departure from Earth. The season finale gave me way too many feels for me not to write something. A quick one-shot/character study.





	1. Star

**What Once Was**

 

It didn't feel like home. She wasn't sure if it ever would again.

Star laid heaped upon her bed like she had many times before though this was no ordinary day. Today was the day that her life came to a grinding halt. Her blue eyes narrowed slightly, mouth twisting into a frown. Okay, maybe that was a bit melodramatic. She wasn't dead...even if it _did_ feel like her heart was crushed.  Ever since coming to Earth nearly a year ago, everything had changed for her. Living on another planet, one with entirely different customs and expectations, was nerve-wracking to say the least but she'd taken it all in stride. In typical Star fashion, she'd barreled in headfirst and given it her best shot. Sure, the road was bumpy, but she fought monsters on a near daily basis. As far as she was concerned, it would be a piece of cake. Unfortunately, she struggled. A lot. Making friends was slow-going and the most aggravating challenge was getting through to Marco. The Diaz's were kind enough to become her pseudo-family, welcoming her in with open arms...with the exception of Marco. He didn't enjoy her magic and he clearly found her enthusiastic personality to be annoying rather than endearing. She'd done everything in her power to get him to come around and none of it worked. She was sure that she'd have to return home, defeated, but that's not how things happened. Who knew battling a group of monsters could bring them closer together?

They became fast friends and, soon, they were inseparable. They lived together, went to school together, hung out together. She'd never had a best friend that she felt so...connected to. Marco was her polar opposite: studious, quiet, and easily annoyed. And yet, they still had so much in common. From music to TV to food, they agreed on nearly all of it. Marco taught her everything that she knew about Earth and, in turn, she taught him more about Mewni - including her royal lineage. Marco was the first person that didn't expect her to 'behave like a princess'. He took her as she was: loud, excitable, and strange. He never judged her or made her feel stupid, like so many other people in her life. He understood her. She supposed it was only natural for her feelings to change into much more but she tried her damnedest to keep things from heading in that direction. They were best friends and it _had_ to stay that way.

Truthfully, she was terrified of what could happen if she admitted her true feelings. There was outright rejection, which would make things unbearably awkward and painful, but she was more worried about the opposite. What if they _did_ decide to date? What if things crashed and burned? What if they could never be friends again? She'd dealt with it once before and she vowed to never have it happen again. Tom was her best friend, at a point, but everything got turned upside down as soon as they decided to become an item. He proved himself to be incredibly possessive and it was clear that it would never work. She called things off but all that did was make him angry. Things were starting to get better but it had taken ages for them to even be cordial to each other again. She couldn't imagine what she'd do if that happened with Marco. No, she resigned herself to never tell him the truth. Ever.

She rolled over onto her side, focusing her attention on the cloudless blue sky outside her window. A part of her considered taking a walk but, after the debacle that was Song Day, she decided that would be a terrible idea. It was crazy to her, how quickly everything could devolve. Life was good before and now...now it was confusing and scary. Some of it started weeks ago, the beginnings of uncertainty and anxiety forming after Jackie stepped into the picture. She'd been determined to save face, telling herself and everyone around her that she was fine. She didn't care that Marco and Jackie were dating now. Jackie was a great person, funny and cool, and Marco had his eye on her for so long. If he was happy then she was happy. She forced herself to keep everything together, quickly working to cement herself in this new dynamic. Marco's relationship with Jackie didn't mean that she couldn't still have her best friend...right? She was so sure that all three of them could get along, that she could prevent things from changing but she was wrong. The Love Sentence concert forced her to see things for what they really were. She was a third wheel, an annoyance. She didn't fit anymore. It stung to see the two of them, kissing and happy, while she felt so...alone. It was as if part of her had been severed and she left that night feeling defeated.

Remembering how she'd lost Glossaryck just added regret into the mix and then came the self-doubt, the disappointment. She'd let Glossaryck down, she'd let her parents down, she'd let Mewni down, she'd let _herself_ down.  What would she do without her spell book? She tried to make her own but every time she wrote down a new spell, she couldn't help but think about generations of family history that she'd never be able to recover. She'd be remembered as the princess that lost one of the Butterfly families most precious possessions. It was failure after failure after bitter failure...it didn't seem fair. She'd tried so hard and it still wasn't enough to save things. It wasn't enough to get Glossaryck back and it was because of her screw-up that Toffee had re-emerged.

Thinking about him only made her stomach twist into impossible knots. The haunted look on her mom's normally picture perfect face was enough to let her know that things were bad. _Very_ bad. She'd been so caught up in her own personal drama that she'd forgotten about the grave danger that she was in. It was easy to dismiss Ludo as nothing more than a nuisance and she'd gotten lax in her training since Glossaryck wasn't around to subtlety steer her in the right direction. She wasted time hanging out with Janna, playing videogames, going to the mall. She goofed off constantly, not even bothering to do homework. She almost started to believe that she was just an average teenager, not a future Queen. It was easy to forget when she was on Earth, away from the trappings of Mewni and all of the responsibility that her mother onto her. She could choose what she wanted to do and having that freedom was both a blessing and a curse. She was starting to see that being left to her own devices wasn't exactly doing her any favor. Last night, she'd been so down. The party was supposed to be the kick-off to summer, it was supposed to be fun and she should've been downstairs enjoying all of the festivities. All she could think about was how screwed up things were between she, Jackie, and Marco. How could she be expected to waltz down there like everything was okay? How could she look at them without feeling that slow bloom of jealousy in her chest? 

She was determined to fix it, somehow, but she was still hurt. Marco had been avoiding her ever since her princess song revealed all of her secrets and she couldn't blame him; she'd blindsided him. He was probably just as confused as she was and it wasn't fair for her to expect him to let it go. It wasn't something that could be swept under the rug. She wanted to speak with him but she was embarrassed. She liked him, she thought he was cute and sweet and caring, but she couldn't let herself admit it. She had to keep at least one thing in her life the same. The friendship she had with Marco was the one thing that she could always count on, even when the rest of the world got too insane for her to handle. They'd been through worse before and they'd come back stronger than ever. This would be no different. They lived in the same house and yet they managed to maintain their distance for the better half of a week. She thought about buying him a gift but she knew that the friendly gesture could be misconstrued as something else entirely. Everything had the potential for disaster. She called her closest friends for help and their insistence that she enjoy herself fell on deaf ears. Even spending time with Oskar couldn't make her feel any better. The crush that she'd had on him was based on looks and nothing more. She liked the idea of Oskar but the thought of actually dating him never crossed her mind. Being around him again only reminded her of how things were in the beginning, before everything was ruined. His good-nature cheered her up a little but it wasn't enough. She tried to tell herself that spending a whole summer with him was what she needed. Maybe a distraction would take her mind off of the mess she'd made. Maybe something good would happen. She had to lie to Marco if she wanted to move on; she _had_ to. Looking him in the eye while she told him that she didn't like him was like a punch to the gut. There he was, right in front of her, listening intently and all she had to do was say it. This was her best friend, her partner-in-crime, the person she trusted the most. And she couldn't tell him the truth. She'd tried to tell herself that it was for the best but that was before her mom came to uproot her all over again.

It would've been easy to leave without another word. She could've disappeared and left him guessing. Maybe he would've been angry. No, she _knew_ he would've been angry, but maybe he would've taken it better. Maybe. The thought crossed her mind but she couldn't follow through. It was possibly the last time she'd see him, at least for only god knew how long, and she didn't want their last conversation to be a complete lie. She owed it to him. She was so mixed up that she didn't even care that she admitted her feelings in front of a room full of her peers. They weren't important; all that mattered at that second was making sure Marco knew exactly how she felt. She could still see the way his dark eyes widened as he reached for her, mouth hung open in shock. She ran before he could say anything, before his fingers could even brush her arm. She heard him calling for her as she rushed into her room...not her room anymore...but she didn't stop. She didn't want to hear what he was going to tell her. If he rejected her, she'd have to add that on top of the pile of crap that was already threatening to topple over at any moment. If he reciprocated, she'd have to leave knowing that nothing would ever come of it. No matter what, she'd lose. Again. She followed her mom into that portal and that was it.

She didn't realize that she was crying until she noticed the dampness on her pillow. It was all over now. There was no telling what Toffee was planning or what she'd have to face. She'd made so many mistakes, ruined so much, and she couldn't afford to do any more damage. She needed to be a princess.


	2. Marco

Okay, so, I had to write a part from Marco's POV too. Might do some other characters as well.

**What Once Was:**

**Marco**

All it took was a few seconds and she was gone.

Marco stood in the gutted out shell that was formerly Star's room, staring at the wooden floor and empty walls as if he could blink and watch it all fall back into place. The emptiness of it all echoed inside of him and he found himself shutting and locking the door behind him, needing to separate himself from everything else. He was aware that he'd left a house full of people downstairs, people that were likely already gossiping about the exchange that had unfolded before them, but he didn't care. Social embarrassment was nothing compared to the gut-wrenching pain of losing his best friend. There was a finality and severity in Star's voice that was so unfamiliar that he knew she wasn't lying to him. She was leaving and...she liked him. It was a lot to take in all at once and the confusing mix of emotions left him to sit, numb. He'd been having a good time. Sort of. Things were awkward to say the least and while he was trying to spend time with Jackie, every few minutes he found himself thinking of Star. He felt like an awful person but he wasn't sure what to do. Jackie was his dream girl, the one person he'd been pining after ever since middle school. She was world's cooler than he could ever hope to be and, whenever she was around, he made a complete ass of himself. He was always too nervous to ask her on a date, convincing himself that it was a lost cause. A girl like Jackie would never be interested in him. It was Star that pushed him to take a chance and he wasn't sure he ever would've gone for it if not for her support. He sighed as he pulled his hood over his head, tugging the strings tightly to hide himself. He finally got the girl, by some miracle, and somehow things were still screwed up.

He always knew that his feelings for Star went beyond a normal friendship. They started out as best friends, joking around and hanging out, nothing out of the ordinary (if he didn't count the monsters and magic spells). It started quietly at first but it didn't take long before the thoughts were far too loud for him to ignore. Star was wacky and weird but she was also fiercely loyal to her friends and always good for a laugh. She took his boring, mundane life and made it exciting and new. Every day was an adventure with her and he grew to appreciate all of her quirks. Even when she annoyed him, even when she drove him crazy, he still wouldn't trade her for anything in the world. She was important to him and now she was gone.

This wasn't the first time that something devastating had happened but it felt far more severe than any of those instances combined. He'd been terrified when Toffee captured him, even if he kept an about face. He'd been scared when Ludo showed up waving around a wand, nearly winning the fight against them. He'd even been nervous after Glossaryck was taken, knowing how much it affected Star. He'd been scared before but this was a different feeling entirely. He was almost...defeated. He knew that he was only human and, while he was strong and could certainly hold his own in a fight, he didn't know what to do when things got this serious. Star may have been a teenager but she had major responsibilities, ones that included being an heir to the throne. At the end of the day, she was a royal princess with a legacy to uphold and he was just...plain old Marco. Did he really believe that things would be this way forever? They were getting older. What would happen when they graduated? It wasn't like Star could live with him forever, like things could stay the same way forever. He told himself this and yet it didn't help. If anything, it made him feel worse.

"Marco?"

The quiet voice belonged to none other than Jackie. He heard her twisting the doorknob and then there was a soft knock.

"Marco, I know you're in there. Can you talk to me? Please?"

There was a desperation in her voice that saddened him but he couldn't make himself get up. He wanted to wallow in his feelings, at least for awhile. It would take a long time before he was over this.

"I'm...having a Marco moment".

It was a term Jackie herself had coined, for whenever he freaked out and let his anxiety get the better of him. It was a term of endearment and he came to appreciate it, finally understanding that it was one of the things that Jackie liked about him. She told him that him worrying so much showed how much he cared about other people. It may have been true but he wished, for once, that he could just _act_ without dwelling on every little detail.

"...Okay. I...just...call me when you get a chance".

He listened closely to the sound of footsteps descending the stairs and then it was quiet again. He liked Jackie, he really did, but...he liked Star too. If he was being honest with himself, he'd liked her ever since the Blood Moon Ball. He told himself that he'd only gone because Tom was a massive jerk but, truthfully, he was upset that Star had left him behind. He remembered how stunning she looked in her ballgown and how much he wanted to let her know, but he didn't say anything. As usual, he was too nervous to go for it, too chicken to take a chance. It was easy when he was disguised, pretending to be nothing more than a stranger. He didn't have to worry about embarrassing himself or saying something stupid. They danced as if they were in sync, everything perfectly harmonized. That night, he knew that there was the potential for everything to change but it didn't happen. He put it behind him and wrote it off as a weird moment; that was that. Except it wasn't. He hid his feelings but they were still very much there. He thought dating Jackie would put them to rest but it only seemed to make them worse. Star was always in the back of his mind, no matter what. He never thought that she would ever like him back.

The thought of anyone having a crush on him was still a foreign concept. He saw himself as geeky and lame, certainly not worthy of being the object of someone's affections. He'd been floored when Jackie accepted his date proposal and he often had a hard time wrapping his head around the fact that she was his girlfriend. Now he was having those same thoughts all over again. He thought about how adamant Star was for the three of them to hang out, how she was always pushing them to spend time together, and it finally clicked. She was afraid of being left out, of being abandoned. Of him forgetting her. He felt terrible when he thought about all the times he'd been out with Jackie, never really considering how Star might've felt. He missed plenty of movie nights, always telling her that he'd make it up to her but never actually following through. Star was always so happy-go-lucky that he couldn't imagine her being sad or upset. But she was and he was too selfish to even notice. This whole time, she'd been working to make him happy despite her own feelings. And now she wasn't even here for him to apologize.

How could he have been so stupid? He even tried to convince himself that summer vacation would fix things. All it would do was put a band-aid over something that required stitches. Nothing would go back to normal, no matter how much he pretended. He just wanted to forget about Song Day and all the conflicting feelings that went along with it. He replayed that moment over and over again in his head, unable to process the flush of embarrassment that colored Star's face or the lyrics that admitted her true feelings. It was impossible to make sense of it when he had no idea she felt that way about him. He avoided her, not to be rude but because he wasn't sure what to say. She obviously wanted to keep it a secret and he was absolutely fine with that. He tip-toed around her, picking and choosing his words with the utmost care and consideration. Everything was awkward and weird and he hated it. Even after they finally talked and put everything out in the open, he still felt like there was a huge weight on his shoulders. She told him that she didn't have a crush on him, that she wanted things to stay the same. He didn't buy it for a second; Star wore her feelings all over her face. He should've told her. Right then, he should've told her that it was okay - that he liked her too. But it was so much easier to go along with it. He went back to Jackie, assuring himself that everything would work out in the end like it always did.

When she came back downstairs, he had no idea that she would drop a bombshell. It was rare to see her look so defeated and his immediate reaction was to find out what was wrong. He didn't have time to ask before she was blurting everything out, telling him that she did have a crush on him. He barely had time to react to that when she continued, explaining that she had to leave Earth - right now - and she needed to say goodbye. He wanted to comfort her, to stop her, but it was impossible to do either. By the time he reached her room, she was already gone.

He reached into his pocket to fish out his cellphone, quickly going to his Gallery. He silently scrolled through the pictures, most of them of he and Star, back when everything was still fun. Back before all of this. He had fond memories of each moment and it pained him to think about the fact that the pictures were all that was left. Star was in trouble, that much was obvious, and he couldn't abandon her. Not again, not now. He scrambled to his feet before leaving the room, taking one final glance behind him as he shut the door. He could still hear idle chatter going on downstairs, including the voices of Janna and Ponyhead. He grimaced as he crept his way to his bedroom, not wanting to alert either of them to his presence. He knew that they would be the first to want to speak with him and he wasn't in the mood to rehash what had just happened. Once he was safely tucked away inside his room, he rushed over to his dresser and starting digging through the first drawer. Everything was neatly organized, as always, and he knew what he was looking for would be right there at the bottom...

It didn't take long for his fingers to close around something metal. He stared down at the pair of scissors in his hand, the ones with his name permanently etched onto them, and breathed a sigh of relief. He wasn't sure what he would do but this was a vital piece of the puzzle.


	3. Toffee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was an idea requested by Barbacar over on fanfiction.net! A 'what-if' scenario where Star gets possessed by Toffee. I've never done a request before but this idea was too intriguing for me not to take a shot at it. This is likely going to become a series of one-shots rather than a full-fledged story but they'll all be interconnected.

  **What Once Was:**

**Toffee**

_Did you really think that you could defeat me? You don't have an ounce of the skill that your mother does and even she couldn't touch me. Nobody can save you and it's only a matter of time before you lose. You have something that belongs to me and I'm coming to take it back._

Star awoke with a start, cold sweat causing her nightshirt to cling to her back. She worked to pull herself from her tangle of blankets even if it was a half-hearted attempt at best. She was too shaky to make much progress and eventually she flopped back onto her pillow, eyes trained on her high ceiling. The haunting and eerily calm voice that plagued her nightmares was still fresh in her mind and, despite her best efforts to ward it away, it remained a foreboding presence. The restless sleep wasn't anything new but the dreams...they were another story. There was always that voice, _Toffee's_ voice, outlining her demise while she tried and failed to keep herself out of harm's way. This time she was being thrashed about by a choppy current, desperately trying to make her way to safety while the sea fought against her. She tried to reach for her wand only to realize that it was being wielded by Toffee. It looked different, the bright colors more dull and muddied. The gem in the center was a green star, one that was all too familiar to her. She tried to scream but she was only dragged under water. She thought that she was done for...and that's when she woke up. For some reason, she couldn't shake the sense of dread that was hanging over her. She couldn't recall a time that her nightmares were this intense. It was almost as if they weren't dreams at all but...premonitions. She grumbled to herself as she rolled over, lying face down on her mattress. She was letting her imagination run wild again, as usual. The dreams were nothing more than a result of the stress that she was putting herself under.

It was taking a long time for her to readjust to living in Mewni again. It had only been a few days but each seemed to be worse than the last. She wasn't used to being Princess Star anymore, just Star, and the transition back was still hard to process. Everyone treated her like some precious flower and it drove her crazy; she was more than capable of doing things on her own. Not to mention the fact that her mom still refused to let her out on her own. She was trying to protect her, she understood that, but it was suffocating. She felt like she was on lockdown which wasn't helping to quiet her nerves. All she could do was think about everything that she'd done wrong and everything that she'd ruin next. She knew that she wasn't like the other princesses. She certainly wasn't like her mom or the queens before her. Yes, she was reckless sometimes and wild but she didn't know how to BE any other way. She knew that life would go much smoother for her if she was able to toe the line, even once, but it seemed impossible for her to even complete simple tasks properly. She remembered how awful she felt when she was being tested, how she couldn't seem to get one little spell right. She was sloppy and disorganized; one look at her closet was enough proof of that. She wanted to be better, stronger, but...she didn't know how.

Out of every person in the Butterfly family, she felt like the one that couldn't keep up. She heard tales of the princesses before her, the ones that learned spells in seconds, the ones that led battles, the ones that restored order to the kingdom. The ones that were destined for greatness. What was she destined for? She hated having her life laid out in front of her. She had a path to follow, shoes to fill. There was no room for adjustment, no straying from the path. She already proved herself to be a poor student and she just couldn't fit herself into the standard princess mold. She was so much more than her name but nobody seemed to understand that. Not even her parents.

As much as her mother and father claimed to support her decisions, they still kept her in the dark. She had no idea what her mom had seen, only that it was enough to convince her that Earth was no longer safe. Every question she asked was met with tight-lipped silence. Even her father refused to talk, giving her nothing more than sad smiles and reassurance that she would be heavily protected. She didn't _want_ to be protected, she wanted answers. She was more than capable of holding her own; she'd done just fine without them there. Of course, she also had Marco to watch her back...

It was hard not having him around, especially when she was doubting herself. He always had a way of convincing her that she was fine just the way she was. He never criticized her and he didn't hold her to some ridiculously high standard. He supported her decisions but he wasn't afraid to be the voice of reason whenever her ideas got a little _too_ out there. Without his advice, she felt terribly lost. Apparently, Toffee was back but how? She was sure he was destroyed along with her old wand. At least, she thought he was...

She never checked; the idea didn't even cross her mind. She was just so relieved to be alive, for Marco to be alive, that she didn't think about anything else. She should've been more observant, she should've done more. She knew something was off and she didn't do anything about it. She recalled the time that her spells took on a dark edge, none of them working quite the way they usually did. Marco was worried but she assumed she just needed to learn how her new wand worked. Deep down, she knew she should've done something about it but she was so determined to convince everyone that she could handle things on her own. Clearly, she was wrong.

She groaned before sitting up, deciding that she might as well get herself a late night snack if she wasn't going back to bed anytime soon. She knew that sneaking around at night would likely alert her parents, no matter how quiet she was. Her mom in particular seemed to have impeccable hearing and it was too much of a risk to take. It was moment's like this that called for a little magic. She hesitated, wondering if it was such a good idea. After all, she _still_ used her wand too often even if she was trying to reign it in. It was just so much easier to use magic than take the time herself. _Lazier, not easier,_ she thought. She reached towards her nightstand for her wand but, before she could pick it up, it started to emit a weird green glow. The star in the center became so brightly lit that she had to use her hand to shield her eyes. Well, it certainly had never done _that_ before. She knew that she should leave it be, maybe tell her parents about it in the morning, but she couldn't seem to tear herself away. Slowly, she reached for it again, breath catching in her throat as she picked it up. There was a noise, a low hum, and then everything went black.

* * *

"What the...where am I?"

Star found herself floating in dark, murky waters, the sky above blanketed by storm clouds. It was a wide expanse as far as she could see but there was no coast, no mountains. Nothing. She had no idea where she was or how she'd gotten there and her surroundings gave her very little to go off of. She vaguely remembered waking up in bed but no other details were forthcoming. She wasn't home, that was for sure. She looked down for her wand only to notice that it was nowhere in sight. She tried to swim but she didn't make it very far...or move at all. While it looked like she was surrounded by water, it had the viscosity of jelly. Her legs weren't so much submerged as they were stuck. She tried futilely to break through the surface but no amount of twisting or turning made any difference. There was a sinking feeling in her stomach but she swallowed in down; now was not the time to freak out.

_"It's no use. You're trapped"._

A chill raced down her spine at the sound of the all too familiar voice and she whipped around, eyes searching for any hint of a business suit. No one was there.

"Toffee? Where are you? What do you want?"

_"Let's just say I'm...keeping you company. You have something that belongs to me. I'll need it back"._

The wand. She still had a hard time understanding his motives which made battling him that much more difficult. All of the other monsters she dealt with were transparent in their desires. They wanted power, praise, idolization. Toffee was on another level, one all his own. He was the only one that she was actually fearful of. He showed that he had the ability to render her nearly defenseless and it terrified her. Nobody had been able to strip her down so quickly and she still couldn't believe that she was forced to surrender. Destroying her wand was the same as destroying part of herself and she could almost physically feel it's disappearance. Sure, she had her new wand now but it wasn't quite the same.

"No. You're not getting my wand. Not this time".

_"See, you don't have much of a choice. You're through, Star. You're alone. No Glossaryck, no friends. You're on your own and I think you'll find that you're no match for me"._

"You're wrong. I beat you once and I'll do it again", she said forcefully, though there was a quiver in her voice that she couldn't disguise, "You won't catch me off-guard again".

 _"You don't really believe that, do you?",_ he chuckled, the sinister sound enough to set her teeth on edge, _"Anyone who stands in my way won't last. Ludo, Rhombulus, Omnitraxus Prime. Not even your own mother stood a chance against me. Do you understand? You're fighting a losing battle"._

Suddenly, her mom's behavior made a lot more sense. She had no idea that the Magic High Commission had come face to face with Toffee and...lost? He made it sound as if he'd taken out the trash, _disposed_ of them. If all of them had challenged him, with their years of magic training and experience, and lost then what did that mean for her? She gritted her teeth and tried to push herself out of the depths, only succeeding in straining her muscles. She had to get out of here.

_"You had no idea, did you? Typical. It's only a matter of time, Star. I'll be coming for my finger"._

"I've got a finger for you, alright", she muttered, already growing restless. This wasn't going well for her and she wasn't in the mood to battle wits with him. She needed to get out of...wherever this was...and do something.

_"The rest of the wand. You're going to deliver it to me. Personally"._

"NO".

She took a deep breath as she started to actually concentrate, focusing all of her energy inwards. It was starting to come easily to her now, channeling this inner strength. It was draining and she couldn't keep it up for long but it was enough to get her out of tough situations. This was definitely one of those times. She could feel the glow starting to build around her and, slowly but surely, she felt herself start to rise.

"I...won't...LET YOU", she broke free, the force of it sending her speeding through the air.

She tried to slow herself down, hands grasping the air for anything to grab hold of, but she continued to hurdle to some unknown destination. She squeezed her eyes shut tightly, bracing herself for a crash that never came. Instead of smacking into a wall, she found herself back in bed.

She blinked several times, waiting for something to happen. Nothing. It was all just another dream? It felt so real, so vivid. She looked down, noticing that her wand was in her hand. She was gripping it so tightly that her nails were digging into her palm, drawing blood. She found herself tossing it across the room, flinching as it hit the wall with a loud thud. It didn't take long for scurrying footsteps to find their way to her door.

"Star?", her door was gently pushed open and she saw her mom standing out in the hall, looking a lot more relaxed without all of the makeup and coiffed hair, "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Mom, it was...only a dream".


	4. Jackie

**What Once Was:**

**Jackie**

For the first time in days, Jackie decided to skate.

She grabbed her trusty board from the back of her closet along with her helmet before heading out into the warm summer air. She stopped just outside her door, allowing herself a moment to enjoy the weather. She'd been cooped up in her room for so long that she almost forgot how much she loved being outdoors. Skateboarding, hiking, camping - it was all fair game to her. She would've been out a lot more if not for the turn that life had taken.

It had been a week since Marco's party and a few days since she'd heard from him at all. She left countless voicemails, none of which were answered. She was worried but trying to give him space, which was all she could think to do to help. He clearly needed time to himself; he'd just lost his best friend. While part of her understood, another part of her felt hurt. He lost someone...but that didn't mean _she_ had to lose _him_.

She didn't always like Marco, at least not in that way, not at first. She knew that he had a crush on her, it was obvious, but he never seemed to want to do anything about it. She found him funny but, despite living in the same town for years, she felt like she didn't really know him. It wasn't until recently that he finally broke out of his shell and finally told her how he felt. It took a lot of guts and she found that she finally had the opportunity to learn more about him. It didn't take long before she realized how great he was. Marco wasn't like everyone else. He wasn't afraid to be himself, even if it was potentially embarrassing. He barreled into everything headfirst and usually came out on top. He was exactly the kind of guy that she needed. She had plenty of friends but there was never one person she felt she could go to just to talk. Marco became someone that she could rely on. She thought that the summer would be the perfect chance for them to grow closer. Not anymore.

She always thought that Star was awesome; a little eccentric but cool. She caused a lot of drama when she first moved to Echo Creek, a week never passing without some of her antics making waves, but Jackie never judged her. When she started dating Marco, she was happy to have Star as a new friend. The three of them got along well and it was always a fun time when they were all together. She thought fondly of the Love Sentence concert, remembering it as a testament to their friendship. Now, she wasn't sure what to think anymore. Star didn't seem like the kind of person to hurt someone but Jackie couldn't help but feel like she'd been stabbed in the back. Hearing about how much Star cared for Marco was like a punch to the gut and seeing him run after her only deepened the blow. It was like he completely forgot about her, like she didn't even matter. She tried her hardest to get him to open up to her, if only so she could know the truth, but he was too upset to talk. She couldn't blame him for how he felt but the longer they went without speaking, the more paranoid she became. What was he thinking about? What was going to happen now? Did he like her anymore?

At times like these, she always turned to her trusty skateboard. She'd been skating ever since she was ten years old and it quickly became something that she relied on. People could be weird but when she was riding down the road, all of her problems disappeared. For the past few days, her skateboard sat untouched. She was glad that she was finally able to coax herself out of the house.

Her problems were still there but with the wind blowing through her hair and the sound of her wheels tearing up the gravel, she felt like she could breathe for the first time in days. She rode past the school which looked strangely sad and empty with classes over. She remembered when Marco asked her out for the first time, right before she was about to head home. She learned all of his worst secrets that day and, somehow, that didn't change her perception of him. With Marco, all of those things only made him more interesting. She sighed as she rode past, trying to keep herself from feeling any worse. Things were still in limbo right now but they could still get better. Right?

She sped past the graveyard, shuddering as she thought back to the night of the dance. The dance itself was supremely awful but that wasn't what set her teeth on edge. She got to spend time with Marco, which was everything she hoped it would be, but then they realized that Star was in trouble. It was a terrifying time and she was still thankful that nobody was seriously hurt. She didn't know what she would've done without Marco there to protect her. She took a sharp right turn, almost barreling right into someone's trash can before she veered away from it at the last second. She was starting to remember why she stayed home.

No matter where she went, there were memories attached and all she wanted to do was clear her head. She couldn't spend her whole summer thinking about what was or what was going to be. It would be tough but she had to try and stay positive, at least if she wanted to keep herself sane. Marco would contact her soon, she knew he would. Maybe he would finally open up to her. Maybe they could put all this Star business behind them and start over. Part of her felt bad for thinking it but there was no telling when Star would be back. She and Marco would have time to mend their relationship before it suffered irreparable damage and nothing else would get in the way.

Maybe it would be...better this way. Star had princess duties to worry about, didn't she? A relationship would probably only slow her down. She couldn't possibly date Marco. And who said he wanted to date Star anyway? Maybe she was reading too far into things and everything was fine...

"Jackie?"

She rolled to a halt, turning to see who'd called her even if she would recognize the voice anywhere. She was on Marco's street...right in front of his house. Marco himself was standing in his front yard, looking at her as if she'd just appeared out of thin air. For a moment, they simply stared at each other - neither of them able to form words. He looked terrible, the dark circles under his eyes telling of many sleepless nights. She knew that she wasn't much better. After awhile, he started to make his way over to her. He tried to smile but it didn't reach his eyes.

"...I guess we should talk, huh?"


	5. Marco and Jackie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter because life. Hopefully next one will be longer!

**What Once Was:**

**Marco and Jackie**

With all of his ingredients set out before him, Marco went to work.

He usually reserved his Super Awesome Nachos for celebrations and this certainly wasn't a party but he couldn't think of a better distraction. The last person he expected to see was Jackie, especially seeing as though he'd been actively avoiding her. He knew it wasn't right but every time he tried to pick up the phone, he couldn't make himself call. He'd listened to every one of her voicemails, sometimes more than once, but he was still too nervous to do anything about them. He knew that she was upset and that she deserved some sort of explanation but he didn't have all the answers. His summer vacation so far consisted of watching an absurd amount of mindless TV, playing video-games, and hiding out in his room. It was all a bad attempt to avoid one glaring problem and, so far, he wasn't making much progress. Jackie showing up unannounced was probably the first shake in his routine for days. He briefly cut his eyes over in her direction, watching as she nervously chipped at her nail polish. It felt like they were two strangers instead of a couple. Were they still a couple? There was only one way to find out.

"So", he finally said as he slid the pan into the oven, "Talk".

"Yeah...talk", she sighed, "...Um...you start".

"Uh, okay. I'm sorry. I know I should've called you. I kind of left you in the dark which wasn't cool".

"I understand. You're dealing with a lot right now, with Star..."

Even hearing her name was enough to send a sharp pain through him. He missed her, that much was obvious, and no amount of reasoning could change that. Everything was boring without her and the more time that passed, the worse it became. He...had a plan. A dumb and extremely dangerous one but still a plan nonetheless. The only issue was getting the courage to actually go through with it. He met Jackie's gaze, the hurt in her eyes enough to remind him that Star wasn't the only one that needed him.

"That still doesn't make it right. I really like you, Jackie, and I never wanted any of this to happen. I thought we'd be having an awesome summer right now and we're not and it's mostly my fault and-", he shook his head, "I think...right now...maybe it's best if we...just..."

She looked at him for a moment before a sad smile graced her face, "You're breaking up with me".

"I, um, no! I mean, it's...just...I guess I am..."

He wasn't sure how to feel and the confusing mix of emotions was only making him nauseous. He never imagined that his first relationship would end so abruptly and he never thought he'd be the one to call things off. He had no idea how these situations were supposed to go which only made him more nervous. Jackie didn't seem angry but he couldn't see how she wouldn't be. He was breaking up with her after not speaking to her for days, on top of his best friend admitting she had feelings for him. No matter how he sliced it, the situation wasn't ideal.

"It's...okay. Well, it's not okay but...I get it. Things are weird right now and us being together isn't helping".

"I'm sorry, Jackie. I really wanted this to work".

"Yeah, me too".

It was at that moment that the oven timer decided to go off. He was almost glad for the noise since it helped to cut some of the tension but he knew the conversation was far from over. He took the nachos out of the oven and placed some on a large plate. He quickly set it down on the table, breathing a sigh of relief once Jackie ate one. At least that hadn't changed.

"These really are awesome nachos. Kinda sucks that I won't have them after this".

"We're still friends, Jackie".

"I know. I just need some time to myself. To think".

He couldn't blame her for needing her space. After all, he'd done the same thing to her. Even still, hearing it was difficult.

"Yeah. Okay".

"How long did you know?"

"Know?"

She nodded, "That you liked her".

He froze for a moment, not knowing how he should proceed. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt Jackie's feelings and he definitely didn't want her to think that he'd had feelings for Star all along. But he knew that he couldn't lie to her.

"...Awhile, I guess. I liked you too! I mean...that sounds worse than I intended..."

Surprisingly, she started to laugh. After a few seconds, he found himself joining in. It felt good to laugh about the situation, even if it wasn't very funny. He'd have plenty of time to beat himself up over it later but, for right now, it was nice to get a break.

"Dude, it's okay. I always kind of knew you two had a thing for each other. Guess I just didn't want to believe it".

"It wasn't like that".

"I know. Well, when are you going to tell her?"

"Oh, you know, never?", he scoffed, "Not like I can just waltz over to Mewni and..."

He trailed off, his hesitation enough to pique her interest. He knew that he'd made a mistake even before he saw the look on her face.

"You've got a plan, don't you? And you're worried about messing it up?"

"Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence-"

"What are you waiting for? You went after me, didn't you?"

"Are you kidding? That took ages-"

"Then don't wait around this time! Come on, Marco, what are you so afraid of? You kick monster butt on a daily basis".

He crossed his arms, "This isn't the same, Jackie. Something's wrong. I can tell".

"Even more reason for you to be there", she eyed him carefully, "This isn't even for me to say but...if you care about her, you should let her know. She told you how she felt. You need to do the same".

As much as he wanted to argue, he knew it was pointless to disagree. She was right; he needed to do something. The longer he sat around, the worse things could be for Star. Who knew what she was going through? He took a deep breath before he motioned for Jackie to follow him. He led the way upstairs towards his room where he headed towards his computer desk. Sitting on top of a few books were the dimensional scissors. He'd been staring at them for days, too scared to actually use them but needing to have them near. He took another breath before he picked them up and turned to show them to Jackie. She took one look at them before her eyes widened.

"Are those...?"

"Yeah", he looked down at them, "They're mine. I can use them to get to Star. But I don't know what I'll do when I get there. I don't even know what I'm walking into. And my parents-"

"I can help".

"Jackie, I can't expect you to do that for me".

"Oh, I'm not going with you", she smiled, "But I think I know some people that would".


End file.
